I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
