Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
