I think I died a long time ago.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
