All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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