He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
