This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
