Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
