For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
