I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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