woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
