white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
