well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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