peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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