lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
