I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the condom got lost in my hair
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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