Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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