Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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