you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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