Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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