I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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