Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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