Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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