Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm lost and stupid without you.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
