I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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