I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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