Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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