chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
