Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
