Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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