Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
