I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
