I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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