There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
