are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
