coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
