I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
