No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
