she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
