You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
