i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
