What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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