I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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