Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Semen is not good for contacts.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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