She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
