If that was your dad, he is hot
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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