tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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