i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
