he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
