....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
