Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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