I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Randomize
