all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Hello my rib-scented angel!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
