$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
