awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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