They should really pass out barf bags in church
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
