no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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