wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
