***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
do herpes really smell.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
